The Perfect Pastor

The Perfect Pastor (Male and/or female) is a humorous sermon illustration about a Church looking for a perfect pastor.

* The perfect pastor preaches exactly 10 minutes.
* He condemns sin roundly but never hurts anyone’s feelings.
* He works from 8 AM until midnight and is also the church janitor.
* The perfect pastor makes $40 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $30 a week to the church.
* He is 29 years old and has 40 years experience.
* Above all, he/she is handsome/pretty.
* The perfect pastor has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he spends most of his time with the senior citizens.
* He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his church.
* He makes 15 home visits a day and is always in his office to be handy when needed.


Sermon Illustrations: Christ as Son of God

Who Do You Say He Is?

If I told you to pull out a piece of paper and write on it who you say Jesus is what would you write? We all have some answer; we all have some images of Jesus. Some of them are the images we learned as children in Sunday school which have proved troubling and we don’t’ have anything to replace them with. Sometimes we dismiss Jesus on the basis of what we knew about Jesus at age six. Some of us have never examined the evidence for ourselves.

One of my main goals in preaching is to gain a fresh hearing for Jesus, especially among those who believe they already understand him. I’m sorry to tell you this, but you probably don’t. Because what happens sometimes is that presumed familiarity has led to unfamiliarity. Jesus is sometimes obstructed by clouds of well-intentioned misinformation.

But ultimately, rather than give you my answer to the question I’d rather challenge you to answer the question for yourself because that’s the only answer that matters. Is he Messiah? If that’s what you think, what does that mean? Jesus clearly didn’t’ fit into what a Messiah was expected to be. Messiahs were supposed to have power, were supposed to take charge, were supposed to set things right and free the Jews from political expression. But Jesus refused to stiff arm anybody. He refused to dominate or to take up arms.

Is he Savior? OK. But what is he saving us from and what is he saving us to? Some people clearly had no interest in being saved. When Jesus said the poor are precious and the rich are in big trouble, only those on one side of that equation found it intriguing.

Is he Teacher? Surely, but is that all?

Who do you say he is? Messiah, Savior, Lord, shaman, teacher, friend, prophet, prince of peace?

Now, as you try and answer that question, don’t be too alarmed if you cant’ nail it down. Even those of us who wrestle with the question regularly find it difficult, because Jesus is sometimes downright incomprehensible; he is often enigmatic, ambiguous. From the very beginning, who Jesus was, what he was about, was far from self-evident. There were people who stood face-to-face with Jesus and said, “This is God incarnate.” There appear to be many more who said, “This man is nuts.” Although I think that for most of us, the biggest issue isn’t that we’ve listened to Jesus and found him incomprehensible; it’s that we’ve listened to him and found him too damned difficult.

Herb Miller, Who Do You Say That I Am?

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Defining Christ

Every photographer knows the importance of having the camera lens in focus before triggering the shutter. You can set the right shutter speed. You can open the lens to its proper setting. But if that lens is not in focus, the picture will be worthless.

Anyone who’s trying to sell something these days knows the importance of having an accurate focus on the market for which a product is intended. Whether you’re trying to sell soap or soft drinks, it’s necessary to know exactly which people will most likely purchase your product. On what age group or sector of the public do you focus your advertising?

So Jesus realized that if people were going to follow him, and if his followers were going to be truly effective Christians in the world, they needed to know exactly who he was. They also needed to know precisely what was involved in being a Christian.

That’s probably one reason why he asked this simple, but all-important question in our Bible reading. “Tell me,” he says, “who do people say I am?” And a little later he refines the question: “What about you?” he asked them. “Who do you say I am?”

Richard W. Patt, Partners in the Impossible, CSS Publishing Company


Satan’s Meeting

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.
In his opening address he said,
“We can’t keep Christians from going to church.”
“We can’t keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth.”
“We can’t even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their saviour.”
“Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken.”
“So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don’t have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ..”


Faithful Unto the End

“I have fought a good fight; I have finished my course; I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the Righteous Judge, shall give me at that day and not to me only, but unto all them that love His appearing.”


Pinoy Joke: Free Haircut

There is this good old barber in some city in the United States . One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
“I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.”


Satan’s Organization and Meeting

I got this video in one of the forwarded emails. It’s more like an illustration but very true in many ways. It can directly hit us while watching it. At the same time, it is a good reminders for all of us to know whom we are serving.

Nominalism has been a great problem not only by certain churches but almost all churches around the world. Nominalism can be defined as being lax in our faith. And I believe all churches are facing the same problem I do hope that this video clip will in some how awake us from a long sleep. God bless!!!


GOD ONLINE

God: Hello. Did you call me?..

Me: Called you? No. Who is this?

God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don’t know. But I can’t find free time. Life has become hectic. It’s rush hour all the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.